Tuesday, December 29, 2009

New Year's Resolutions for 2010 (or Learning to Cope)

1. Try not to get blown up.

2. Give our leaders some respect. After all they work so hard (for themselves), trying their best (to take all they can for themselves). 'So little time, so much to loot!'

3. Learn new games to play in the dark, as load-shedding hours increase. Perhaps purchase night-vision goggles?

4. Purchase warm clothing for the extra layers required when gas load-shedding begins. Imagine camping out at a scenic point (instead of gazing forlornly at all electronic items which are not functioning due to power shutdown)

5. Practice lining up at CNG pumps overnight in anticipation of a tankful, imagining you are lining up for Wimbledon tickets or the Glastonbury festival to make it easier. Perhaps pack a few friends into car, along with various entertainment options. Make a night of it!

6. Learn a few more prayers to say while stopped at check-posts, while shopping, while eating at a restaurant, while...well you get the idea.

7. Discourage HRH from playing games which include phrases such as 'I am a bomber!' and 'That was a huge blast! BOOM!'

8. Control road rage. No swearing at lunatic bus drivers, crazy van drivers, motorcyclists and bicyclists who think nothing of weaving out randomly in front of you, people who want to stop and chat in the middle of the road, pedestrians who wish to walk in the middle of the road (which is for VEHICLES...repeat after me 'I am not a car. I am not a car.') and so on.

9. When stuck in traffic due to a VIP movement, instead of silently fuming, pass the time by coming up with appropriate acronyms for VIP, such as Very Insult-worthy Person, Very Idiotic Personality, Vendetta Is Possible etc (This may conflict with Resolution #2).

Wishing everyone a happy, safe and hopeful new year!

2 comments:

  1. Happy New Year to you too!

    Very well written sarcastic post! *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well from page to page I came across your this post. Really liked it coz it presents facts in a real funny way. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete