I hate HRH's bedtime as much as he does.
He doesn't want to sleep and I have to sit around with him until he does.
You would think an almost 6 year old would fall asleep himself. Unfortunately, he refuses to let me leave the bedroom till he's asleep. So while he fidgets around in bed, I have no choice but to sit and fume.
Typical bedtime routine post brushing teeth and lying in bed:
HRH: I'll sleep after reading my book for 5 minutes.
Me: Ok but just 5 minutes.
5 minutes later -
Me: Ok time to sleep now.
HRH: I asked Baba earlier and he said I can watch 10 minutes of TV before going to sleep.
Me: But you just spent 5 minutes reading didn't you?
HRH: Yes but I asked Baba about the TV.
10 minutes later -
Me: Ok now I don't want to hear another word. I'm switching off the lights.
HRH: Ok but I'm not sleepy at all.
Me: Just try and sleep.
2 minutes post lights off -
HRH: I'm thirsty.
Me: Your water bottle is lying next to you.
HRH: Ok switch the lights on so I can see.
2 minutes post thirst quenching -
HRH: My nose is blocked. I need Vicks.
Me (swearing under breath): Fine. I'll put some Vicks on your nose.
2 minutes post nose unblocking operation -
HRH: I'm really not sleepy.
HRH: Ammi did you hear me?
Me (silent scream of rage): I know. But you still have to try and sleep.
2 minutes post having made me acknowledge he's not sleepy -
*Sounds of rustling*
Me: What are you doing?
HRH: Nothing *sounds of things being hurriedly moved around in the dark*
I switch on the lamp to discover he has sneaked toys under his pillow earlier which he is now playing with.
Me: Will you stop playing and give me those things.
HRH: Ammi...you shouldn't snatch things.
Me: [refuse to be drawn into an argument (especially since he's right) while overcoming urge to throw something at him]
2 minutes after yet again settling him down -
*Sounds of wrestling emerge from his bed*
Me: Now what?!
HRH: This stupid quilt!
I turn on the lights to see him completely tangled up in the duvet.
After rescuing him from the coils of the quilt, I once again reiterate that if I hear another word from him he will be in big trouble.
HRH: Why don't you go, I'll sleep myself.
HRH: Yes....I'll just read and play till I feel sleepy.
Me: I don't think so. I'll stay...JUST GO TO SLEEP!
After a few more requests ranging from 'I need to go to the bathroom' to 'I'm hungry again' to 'What does 'pitcher' mean?'/'When can I get married?'/'What's the plan for tomorrow?' and so on; eventually, at long last there is silence in the room.
This is due to HRH having fallen asleep....or both of us having fallen asleep.