Friday, November 30, 2012

Egg Pulling, Gum Chewing and Bladder Control - LOTD

Bladder pressure builds quick
Becomes unbearable in a tick
"It's so cold I need to pee!"
Said the little boy loudly
"Go now before there's a yellow slick".

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Said the chicken to the egg
"You look like a little peg"
The egg said with a flick
"You are a horrible chick"
"I was just pulling your leg".

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The girl chewed gum all day,
Chomping intensely in every way,
Like a cow with its cud
She looked like a real dud
She might as well have chewed hay.

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A golfer about to tee off
Was interrupted by a cough
"Quiet please" he grumbled
Just then forward he stumbled
Straight into a sandy trough.

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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Rain Pain & Football Shots - LOTD

The rain drips down here and there
The smell of wet earth is one to share
Looks lovely through the window
Nature putting on an excellent show
Beautiful till it seeps into your underwear.

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For your own sake, don't approach me
At least not till I've had some coffee
It's too early to ask 'what, why, how and who'
Go away before I fling my shoe
The glares are a warning you see?

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A little boy sits on the pot
Strains and wipes some snot
Counting cracks in the ceiling
While trying not to go reeling
Dreaming of that perfect football shot. 

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Strawberry cheesecake and apple pie, slurp
Who wouldn’t give a satisfying burp?
Even just some ice-cream with a spoon
Would put me over the moon
Something sweet, better than any purp.

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A monster gnashing its fangs
From a tree upside down hangs
There is the sound of a loud squelch
Followed by a monstrous belch
Satisfying those hunger pangs.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Working Stiff

Why are some offices full of creeps?
Why doesn't anyone run over them with jeeps?
Why do they torture us all?
Why don't they just pause and stall?
No wonder we have to refer to them in beeps.

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A begum I would love to be
Lie around all day drinking tea
Coffee parties and clothes,
Sitting around picking my nose,
How I would be filled with glee.

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Desk is piled with boring papers
Head is filled with crazy capers
When did we get so old?
To the devil the soul is sold
Slowly our energy tapers.

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Oil Rig Bottom - LOTD (Limericks Of The Day)

There was a young lady at LUMS
Who had really massive bums
They were so humungous-ly big
They got mistaken for an oil rig
By all of her cheeky chums.

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Everyone's hatred for WAPDA grows
As the power goes to newer lows
There goes the electricity again
Making everyone's nerves strain
How much more can we take, who knows?

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Localized Limericks

At the moment I am reading a book on comic verse, which has inspired me to write some limericks - 
 
There was a young lady from Pindi
Who loved to eat lots of bhindi
She would tuck it away
Keeping at it all day
Until all the gas had to fly free.

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There was a young man from Lahore
Who like a monster did snore
He terrified the neighbor's kids
Who smacked his head with saucepan lids,
So he would snore no more.

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There was a young lady from Karachi
Who loved to eat and was terribly lalchi
She would steal everyone's money
Just by calling them 'honey'
Then give it all to her bawarchi.

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There was a young man from FATA
Whose footwear was all from Bata
He had a horrible flu
When he sneezed his slipper flew
So he waved to it, "Ta ta".

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There was a young man from Sibi
Who was addicted to jalebi
He would eat the orange goo
All crushed up in a stew
Eventually he carried his teeth in a dibbi.
 
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There was a young lady from Gujranwala
Who loved to use the word ‘Sala
Her parents were distraught
At the very thought
So they abandoned her and moved to Guatemala.

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An old lady from Bahawalpur
Decided to go on a worldwide tour
She sat on an aeroplane
Was never heard from again
Because she forgot to close the door.

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Monday, November 19, 2012

The Maze of Third Grade

HRH's Math Abuse
Mixed-up Mutazad
7 times enough.

Google Chrome Love, Someone Else, Centimeter Confusion etc.

Me: Anything interesting happen in school today?
HRH: No. The word 'school' means a building of boredom.


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HRH: It took me ages to wake up in the morning for school
Me: Then did Baba get angry with you?
HRH: No, he's not strict thank God...
Me: Unlike someone else?
HRH: Yes..you are the someone else.


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Social Studies revision -
Me: Which is the biggest country in the world?
HRH: The biggest country in the world is Russia. It covers more than 17 million square centimeters.


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Me (hugging HRH): I love you
HRH: I love you more
Me: I love you most
HRH: I love you google chrome.


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Thursday, November 15, 2012

Comics by HRH

Eisa aka HRH seems to have found a new use for my Galaxy Note 2. I guess Samsung's 'Unleash your creativity' tag-line might actually have some truth in it.

1. There is a naked guy. (Plz note the censored lower bits)
2. Another person asks naked guy 'Why are you naked?'
3. Naked guy: It's Friday (Not sure what the significance of naked-ness with Friday is)
4. So now they are both naked.




"The Idiot"
1. Guy 1: My name is Jack
2. Guy 2: Your name is Stewart Pid
3. Guy 1: My name is Stew-Pid
4. Guy 2 finds this hilarious

1. Guy sees hair blowing in the wind. Asks "Wanna go on a date"
2. The hair turns out to belong to a dog
3. Guy is confused
4. What the....