Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Raptor Claws & Cow Milk Machines

HRH: I don't feel like going to school today
Me: I don't feel like going to work either
HRH: So lets not go! We can call and say I have chicken pox and you can say you have a menshia.
Me: Amnesia?
HRH: Yes.


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HRH: In the first Percy Jackson book, his mom got killed by a minotaur
Me: Oh ok...was he sad then?
HRH: Of course he was..it was his mother
Me: I thought maybe she might have been evil
HRH: Those are just stepmothers.


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Me (looking at Eisa's hands): Remind me to cut your nails when we get home
HRH: They are fine...for a raptor.


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HRH: This boy was calling me names..so I called him a "cow's milk machine"
Me: What's a cow's milk machine?
HRH: You know those pink things hanging under a cow


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On the way to the first day of school...me lecturing Eisa on not fighting with anyone unnecessarily -
Me: Please don't fight with anyone unless they start it
HRH: I know that. I need to learn some new insults though apart from 'wormy worm' and 'booger breath'. I only know one new one.. "You are a smelly bucket of nose drool".


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HRH: Will you buy me a toy when I finish the Quran?
Me: Sure
HRH (gloomily): God knows when that will be though..probably when I'm 21
Me: So you won't want a toy if you are 21
HRH: You can get me a Ferrari then.


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HRH: Why are you in a bad mood?
Me: I'm having a disagreement with your Baba
HRH: What's it about?
Me: That's none of your business...when you are married and have a disagreement I won't ask you about it either
HRH: You'll be really old then..like around 63.


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Eisa explaining a funny ad to me which I didn't understand till a while later -
Me: Oh now I get it!
HRH: You're slow for someone in the fast lane.


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Eisa putting on a shirt -
HRH: Can I leave a few buttons open so I look like a coolio?
Me: No..that's gross.
HRH (with a wink): Hey girl.


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Me: What dessert do you want from Cosa Nostra?
HRH: I don't want anything from Cosy Nostril.


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HRH: From tomorrow I will stay up till 12 at night.
Me: No you won't.
HRH: I will almost be a grown up when I'm 8 so I can make my own decisions.


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Eisa sulking after coming back from golf -
Me: How was it? How did you play?
HRH: I played like a troll. Covered in mud.


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Me (in crazed dessert deprivation mode): I'm going to have a chocolate molten cake today and I will NOT share it with anyone. You and Baba can share your own.
HRH: That's greedy
Me: No...it's...
HRH: Selfish?


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Eisa jumping on our bed -
Faisal: Eisa! Get lost!
HRH: Ok..but then you will miss me.


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Cricket optimism (second wicket falls in Pak v WI) -
HRH: It's okay..one goes down..one rises from its ashes.


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Science revision (after I left the room) -
HRH (to Faisal): Please tell Ammi not to make me study anymore...I'll do the rest tomorrow
Faisal: I can't do that..Ammi knows best.
HRH: I can't believe the boss of the house just said this.


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HRH: When my exams end I want you to get me a cigar
Me: Why??
HRH: So I can smoke it..like the guys at the end of Independence Day when they defeat the aliens.


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