Thursday, May 30, 2013

Exams, Elections Etc.

Post Urdu exam -
HRH: Hum awaz alfaz was in the exam too..one word we had to rhyme was 'hoily'.
Me: Hoily is not a word
HRH: Hay-wow-yay-laam-yay
Me: That's "haveli"
HRH: Oops..I wrote "boily".


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Urdu revision -
Me: Muzakar monus..Taya?
HRH: Tayi
Me: Chacha?
HRH: Chachi
Me: Abba?
HRH: Abbi


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Faisal and I playing FIFA and having to stop at 70 mins with score 1-0 -
Me: So I win!
Faisal: No the match didn't end so it's a draw.
Me: Don't be a sore loser
HRH: He's being like me.


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Eisa studying for English exam, getting startled by me entering room -
HRH: You scared me! I thought you were a troll...a big supernatural creature synonym giant.


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HRH: If you promise to get me a present it might help me behave better.

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Eisa and his friend hurling insults at each other in Mandarin (big horse; elephant etc) while laughing -
Me: Is that your friend?
HRH: More like a frenemy.


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Islamiat revision on 'Respect for Parents' chapter -
Me: What must we do if our parents are old?
HRH: If our parents are old we must get them new teeth.

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Survival instinct (post-elections) -
HRH: Today this boy in my class beat up someone because the other boy didn't like Imran Khan
Me: Did you tell him people can have different opinions?
HRH: No..I didn't want to get beaten up as well.

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HRH (excited): Tomorrow is the election! The madness will be over
Me: What madness?
HRH: You guys fighting all the time

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Eisa looking at pictures from last summer -
Me: What are you doing?
HRH: I am getting tears in my eyes looking at pictures of my childhood.

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Random HRH observations -
"In the morning when I wake up I taste like cat."
"Sometimes you can smell the boogers in your nose."
 
 
 

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HRH: From now on I want you to call me by my English name...Jesus.

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HRH: When I want you to say yes to something and you say 'We'll see', it always means 'No'....and when I want you to say no and you say "We'll see", it always means 'Yes'. It's not fair.

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Urdu revision -
Me: Make a sentence with 'toliyan'
HRH: Nahanay kay baad hum toliyan istamal kartay hain.

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Before school -
HRH: Why aren't the lights on?
Faisal: There's no electricity and the UPS is dead
HRH: Why is there no wifi signal on the iPad?
Faisal: Because the wifi router is also on UPS...now eat your breakfast.
HRH: I can't. I am also on UPS.

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HRH: I'm going to be a movie maker when I grow up..and I'll only make zombie movies
Me: But you are always too scared to watch horror films
HRH: Well I'll just make them...not watch them.

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HRH: I made up a joke..What's yellow and you put it on a hot dog and it's poop?
Me: Why would you put poop on a hot dog?
HRH: Mus-turd!

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Faisal bowling, ball hits Eisa -
HRH: Oww...that was a GBW...a Groin Before Wicket.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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HRH: My friend was insulting someone today and said to him 'You do sex with a girl on a bed.'
Me: *horrified silence*


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Djoko v Murray..on a Djoko error -
HRH: Oiii..sala!
Me: Don't say that word
HRH: Why? What does it mean?
Me: I don't know...
HRH: If you don't know what it means, how do you know it's a bad word?


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English homework -
Me: You have to write an essay on "One great personality that you admire the most"...so who do you want to write about?
HRH: Me. I am very funny.


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Eisa eating fries with khala -
Khala: Be careful not to burn your mouth...they are really hot
HRH (with a wink): Hot like girls?


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HRH (staring at Faisal's deo): Baba you use Axe.
Faisal: Yeah..
HRH: So why doesn't Ammi say "Bow Chicka Wow Wow"?


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HRH: You know the groin kidneys..
Me: Groin kidneys? Kidneys are at the back..
HRH (pointing at front of pants): No these groin kidneys..in Wolverine, he kicks someone in the groin and then says "Try growing those back."


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Listening to Hips Don't Lie on the way to school -
Me: You know Shakira is Pique's girlfriend
HRH: Yuck! What a lover boy
Me: They all have girlfriends..even Messi has a girlfriend
HRH: Messi doesn't have a girlfriend..he has a wife..that's how he has a kid.


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Discussing Messi's injury -
HRH: He just has a bruised knee
Me: Yes but he has to have more tests because its a sensitive area
HRH: I thought the pee thing was the sensitive area.


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On the way back from school -
Me: Why are you so quiet?
HRH: I'm really worried
Me: About what?
HRH: That I'll never be able to play football for Barcelona...I don't know how to speak Spanish.


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Me (to Eisa): I love you more than anything in the whole world
HRH: I love you too..I love you more than I would a pet..if I had a pet.
Me: Umm..thanks?


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Eisa rushing to bathroom after school -
HRH: The teacher didn't let me go to pee during class...so now it's time for the lemonade of 400 years to come out.


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Faisal (to me and Eisa): Try not to fight when I'm gone
HRH (to me): You always start it.


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VIP movement behind us with police sirens blaring to get us plebs out of the way -
HRH: Where's the chor??
Me: In that black Mercedes between the police cars.


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Urdu homework -
Me: Sabzion kay naam bataain
HRH: Bhindi, baingan, gobi, Avari.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


   

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Election Special

No one was sad to see PPP go
For they had sunk so very low.
Five years of high fives all around
While the nation slowly drowned,
At the end no achievements for them to show.

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A party that strikes fear, the MQM
Headed by Altaf Bhai, a real gem.
One word from across the seas
Fuels an uneasy breeze,
Turning Karachi into a city of mayhem.

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Imran Khan's our saviour they said
(If you disagree they will have your head)
Despite the frothing and foaming it was not to be
All due to massive rigging was the plea
Imran's own army in green and red.

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The winners emerged in PML-N,
Tigers and lions in the same den
Elected by the 'minority' masses
Apparently emitting nihari fueled gases
Putting in place those 'educated' women and men.

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